


turbulence

by ginafics



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 08:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginafics/pseuds/ginafics
Summary: Mark and Donghyuck have always been there for each other since the start. A shoulder to lean on and an empty space in bed have always been provided in times of need.Maybe one day it starts being not enough for Donghyuck.In other words this is a story of two idiots pining for each other until one of them decides to speak up.





	turbulence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SlimeQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimeQueen/gifts).



> Hi, this is my first story on AO3, I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> I saw this prompt on @SlimeQueen's cc a few days ago and I just can't not write the idea that pops into my brain.
> 
> I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, this han't been proofread thoroughly

Mark knows Donghyuck like the back of his hands. It is an inevitable fact that no one can argue about the validity. Maybe it's because they have bonded over the long years. Maybe it's because Mark is just as busy as Donghyuck and he understands the feeling. Maybe the reason is just as simple as Mark has been Hyuck's best friend since forever. Or maybe the slight flutter that always fills his chest makes Mark highly attuned to the other boy's mood.

  
_(No, it is absolutely not because his heart's fluttering)_

  
_(No, it is also not because of the slight crease between Donghyuck's brows whenever his mood is down)_

  
_(No, Mark is not in denial)_

The thing is Mark knows that this goes both way. Donghyuck also understands Mark like he knows his own hand (most probably better than Mark understands himself). In days where NCT 127's and NCT Dream's schedules are just seemingly endless and back to back, they often found that exhaustion can actually seep through the cracks of their bones and stays there, beating them down from the inside. They seem to understand each other's lowest point, and sometimes the thing that they would do for each other astounds themselves. Taking each other's role to put a strong front in turns without any agreement is already a habit they picked up since a long time ago. There's always a silent promise where Donghyuck can stay silent and rest for another 10 minutes, while Mark prolongs his speeches on interviews and put a lovable front. There's also a silent deal where Donghyuck takes up half of Mark's works on being the Dream's oldest hyung, so that he can have an extra half an hour to sleep every weekend. This has been going on a lot lately and there's no word on earth that can describe their gratitude for each other's existence on their life.

They're certain that the hyungs know what's going on. Sometimes Taeyong and Doyoung start a playful banter to divert the attention from NCT 127's youngest member, especially on the occasions where Mark and Hyuck sit on the corner of their seating line. Hyuck's head on Mark's shoulder, and instead of the usual playful rejection, Mark just sits there for a long moment before winding his arm around Donghyuck's waist, inconspicuously drawing him closer. Donghyuck is also certain the Dreamies understand that this is something they need to be able to move forward in some days. It wasn't a rare occasion to find Mark on Hyuck's bed in the morning, snuggled under the thick blankets while Hyuck kept begging Jeno to help him preparing the breakfast, filling in on Mark's schedule. And they kept it silent. They always keep it silent, unless to whine because Donghyuck was too tired to watch the sunny side eggs and burnt them accidentally.

All in all, it has always been their dynamic since the start, and no one has expected anything to change for a long time, maybe even until their group has disassembled. Ironically, here is Mark overthinking everything because they have been very busy with NCT 127's schedule, and Mark knows that Hyuck is not okay. He can see that Hyuck missed being surrounded by Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung. He can see that Hyuck missed singing an actual song. Mark can feel that Hyuck is not holding up fine, and God forbids, but Mark has missed his smile --his real smile. It feels off, not seeing Hyuck's smile. It feels like there's something small but prominent that is missing in his world. He just feels so very helpless because Hyuck hasn't laid his head on Mark's shoulder for so long to rest, and he just doesn't know what to do, and, _fuck_ , he's freaking out because he _knows_ that Hyuck is not okay.

  
_(Mark probably worries too much)_

  
_(But it's Hyuck, of course Mark worries too much.)_

At first Mark lets Hyuck be; he knows sometimes he just needs to sort his mind and be alone, but after a week passed without any improvement, Mark becomes concerned. Today marks the end of the second week of Donghyuck moping alone right after every gig, and Mark just can't hold himself back any longer. His bestfriend is not being himself and he just can't take it anymore.

  
_(Maybe the dead weight of concern in his gut also plays a big factor.)_

  
_(And Mark maybe misses Hyuck's head on his shoulder.)_

  
_(Yeah, he definitely misses the small flutter in his chest whenever Hyuck's hand squeezed his thigh in gratitude.)_

So that night, Mark purposely strides back to his and Donghyuck shared hotel room right after he has finished cleaning and eating dinner.

  
_(Hyuck goes back right after the gig finished.)_

  
_(He doesn't stop for dinner.)_

  
_(No, Mark definitely doesn't snuck out some bread to bring to his room.)_

 

Mark doesn't know what to expect when he opens the door. He imagines Hyuck is already asleep or probably playing around with his phone, but whatever he's doing, Mark still opens the door slowly, trying not to make a sound. The view that greets him is not what he has imagined, probably a view that he won't ever imagine in his entire life. Still here he is stuck and frozen, hand still clutching the door handle, eyes and ears taking in the situation that is unraveling right before him, while his brain is spinning, trying to find the reason for all of this mess.

There in the bed, bundled up with a thick white duvet, is Donghyuck --a heavily sobbing Lee Donghyuck. He doesn't stop crying or even turn back to look at the door; maybe he doesn't hear Mark opening the door, maybe he just doesn't care anymore. Mark's brain is currently blaring a panic sirene because... It's Donghyuck. Donghyuck is supposed to be smiling and laughing. Donghyuck is supposed to be glowing like the sun. Donghyuck isn't supposed to be sad and brimming with tears, let alone sobbing heavily to his pillow alone at night. And suddenly Mark is very angry. He's very angry with the people who can make Donghyuck be reduced into this mess, but most of all he's angry with himself for letting the situation went unacknowledge up to this point. Slowly, he closes the room's door and walks up to the crying boy cautiously, kneeling on the floor right in front of Donghyuck, who has his face hidden on his pillow.

"Hyuck..." Mark calls gently, there's a bit of helplessness coloring his voice. Donghyuck stops sobbing, whimpering a little, before sniffling noisily. Mark's heart clenches painfully over hearing Hyuck's small whimpers.

_I'm sorry, I haven't come until now._

  
_What happened?_

  
_Why are you in so much pain?_

There's a lot of questions running around Mark's mind, but he knows this is not the right time. Hyuck lets out a sad whine and starts another episode of crying, hence the reason Mark stands up, gets into the bed, and settles behind Hyuck. His fingers reach for Donghyuck's head and tangle them there, moving gently to stroke the now orange-ish locks. After some few minutes, Hyuck finally turns around to face Mark, eyes brimming with tears, swollen, and red rimmed. Mark's heart decides to give another painful clench. For once after a couple of years, Mark finally opens his arms willingly for Donghyuck to settle in. It's not that he stopped accepting Donghyuck's blatant display of affection because he felt uncomfortable, it's just suddenly his chest kept fluttering after a hug with him one night, his palm got so clammy, and he was just so nervous and scared of the change of emotions that he's feeling for his best friend. That's why he ended up always playfully rejecting Hyuck's affection. Maybe that way his heart can settle back to how it was supposed to be.

  
_(Apparently not)_

  
_(But it's okay, he has accepted the fact a long time ago.)_

Mark waits patiently for Donghyuck, he knows sometimes Donghyuck feels slightly dejected over his actions. Donghyuck's eyes widen imperceptibly for a split second before moving from his designated place to the warmth of Mark's embrace. Mark's hand instinctively winds up over Hyuck's shoulder, drawing him flustered to his chest, and, as if on instict, Hyuck just curls himself further into the strong hold, hiding his wet face on his hyung's neck.

Mark lets Hyuck cry until he can lets out everything and be calm enough to answer Mark's questions. After another 10 minutes of occasional sobs and whimpers, Hyuck finally pulls his face out and rests his head on Mark's chest, fingers clinging to Mark's clothes tightly, as if Mark will bolt out of the room if he lets go. Mark's hand doesn't let go of Hyuck's seemingly small figure (even though he rarely if ever seems small, at least not to Mark)

"Hyuck, what happened?" Mark asks softly, carefully, as if Donghyuck is the most fragile being in the universe, and maybe, judging from the state he is in, maybe he actually is.

"It's fine, hyung. Just the usual stuff." Donghyuck's answer is almost too soft to be heard.

"Don't lie to me. I'm sorry I haven't come until now, I thought it's better to let you be until you're ready to talk. Apparently, I have a lot of lapse in my judgement. I should have come faster, asked earlier." Donghyuck lets out another whimper at Mark's words, hand clinging tighter into the thick material of the grey sweatshirt.

"It's not your fault, hyung... It's just, I don't know, it has been a rough two weeks. We haven't gotten any proper time to stop, let alone a proper time to sleep. It was supposed to be fun, and I'm happy that we can be here today, but, I don't know, right now it doesn't feel fun, it doesn't even feel like a dream anymore. Maybe I'm just being stupid, but, i guess, it all just crashed and hit me tonight."

"Where have you been? Hyuck, why are you keeping this to yourself? You know you can tell me anything. You know I got your back, just like you've got mine. We were always in this together, that's how we survive until now, right?" Mark asks, gently scolding the boy.

"I don't know, hyung, I don't know anymore." Hyuck says dejectedly and he can feel Mark's arm holding him tighter.

"I'm here. I'm here for you. Always."

"Stop it, hyung!" Hyuck finally snaps. The thumb that was drawing comforting circles on Hyuck's arm suddenly stops and the body under him tensed for a split second. Donghyuck will never regret his resolve on not seeing anything but his fingers on Mark's sweatshirt. His resolve to finally tell Mark's the truth will crumble in a split second if he looked at Mark and he can't have that. Not anymore.

"What do you need me to stop, Hyuck?" Mark finally asks Donghyuck, voice almost trembles with all the confusion, the hurt, and the guilt that are eating him.

"This, all of this. Stop this. Stop letting me rest my head on your shoulder. Stop winding your arms around my figure and drawing me closer to you whenever I'm upset. Stop telling me romantic lines like you'll be here for me whenever I need!" Hyuck's eyes have started tearing up again, because he knows he has no chance with the boy that is currently holding him, he has accepted that. Apparently, saying it for real hurts more that it should be. "I know there's nothing romantic on all of that action, that there's no such intention behind your actions. But, hyung, I can't help but read into the lines that were never there. I can't help but fall into the arms that you always provide whenever I'm not able to stand by myself."

"Hyuck..." Mark says softly, astounded by the fact that this is happening right now. It's happening and it's real. Only God knows how many times he has forbid himself to hope that this situation right here might happen someday. But Hyuck chokes back another sob, making Mark forgets his line of thought to cater to the boy's needs

"Hyung, please let me say this. You can't do this thing again where you keep pulling me back together whenever I fell apart. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid I can't hold myself back from falling for you if we keep going on like this. And I know this is selfish, but please give me time to get over this feelings for you, maybe then I can be the kind of support system that you need."

"Hyuck." huh, even he can hear the hurt in his voice.

"Mark, please. I know this is making you uncomfortable, and I know that I have no chance or whatsoever with you, so please let me have this. I need to get over you..." The boy in his arm has started crying again, the tears that is seeping through Mark's sweatshirt make him desperate to see the boy's face. It sounds too much like a confession, but, for fuck's sake, it also scarily sounds like a goodbye.

"Donghyuck, look at me."

"Mark..." Hyuck pleads.

"Donghyuck, please, look at me."

"No. I'm ugly." Donghyuck spats petulantly just because he's feeling like shit right now and he is entitled to be a litle bit shitty on his worst day.

"DONGHYUCK!" Mark finally snaps, causing Hyuck to jump out of Mark's embrace and bewilderly looking at him. Before Hyuck can move or avoid his gaze again, Mark boldly sits in front of Hyuck, trapping the boy's tear stricken face in his hands. "You're Donghyuck. You could never be ugly." Mark says softly while wiping the tears from Hyuck's cheeks. He smiles softly when Hyuck finally doesn't try to avoid his eyes. "I'm sorry I raised my voice, you just won't let me talk."

"Sorry..." Hyuck says sheepishly, cheeks and ears blooming right in front of Mark's eyes with a nice hue of pink. There's a long pause where Mark just seemingly can't stop staring at at his so called best friend. "Mark?" Hyuck cuts off his train of thoughts.

"Sorry, you just look so pretty right now, I can't help but stare." Mark grins, flirts ready on his lips, but anyone witnessing can see the sparks of absolute sincerity in his eyes.

"Mark, shut up! I just told you to stop!" Hyuck just looks so scandalized, Mark can't help but laugh. "Mark..." Donghyuck finally whines like he always does when he needs something from Mark.

"Why are you so hell bent on me stopping this dynamic between us anyway?" Mark finally asks after his laugh has calmed down.

"I told you. Mark, please use your remaining braincells to put two and two together." Donghyuck doesn't even know what to expect, but a frown and a click of a tongue sure weren't it.

"That's hyung for you." Mark tries to maintain a stern expression, but can't hold back the small grin from his face when he sees Hyuck sporting another blush. "I know. I understand, but what makes you think that I am uncomfortable with all of this?" Only then Hyuck sharply looks at Mark in the eyes, the hard glint on his orbs almost makes Mark cowers.

"Hyung, don't joke around. This is not funny." The sad undertone on Hyuck's voice only strenghtens Mark's resolve. Once again, he tries to hold the sun in between his palms. He never imagines that it would be so warm.

"What do you think makes me stop reciprocating your affection, Hyuck? We're just two idiots trying to stop our hearts beating for each other by avoiding each other's presence. That's why you haven't come to me, right? Then, that is also why I haven't been able to stop avoiding your love. I don't want to fall and makes you uncomfortable. Although, it's inevitable anyway." Mark smiles softly as he wipes another tear from Donghyuck's cheeks.

They spend a few minutes in complete silent. Mark lets Hyuck to absorb his words while Hyuck just stares at the boy in front of him, dazzled with awe and the overwhelming realization of what Mark is saying. After a few beat, Mark finally intrudes the comfortable silent, whispering softly.

"I can carry half of your burden, Hyuck. I can be here by your side. You can keep leaning your head on my shoulder while I keep sneaking up to your bed on rough night. You can let go and fall. I am ready to catch you." Mark tries to compose his long overdue thoughts into a logical speech, but stumbling over his words anyway because, for God's sake, Donghyuck is currently in between his hands, and he knows Donghyuck likes him, but there's always that possibility of him being rejected anyway. And Donghyuck is looking so pretty, all dazzled and tender after a long time of crying. Eventually, he opts for the simple truth. "Let me do all that and more. You deserve all of that and more." Donghyuck is silent for a long time, until he eventually takes Mark's hands from his cheek and cages them inside his hands. Mark's heart falls to his stomach when Hyuck throws him an apoligetic smile.

"I am not experienced in any of this, Mark. Being with someone, being with a boy to top that, I am not experienced in any of that." Hyuck intertwines his fingers with Mark's, and squeezes gently. A small reassurance that it's gonna be okay. And Mark believes the boy, whatever the answer he'll receive, they're gonna be okay. "But I am quite well taught in being with you, so if you would have all of this, I promise I'll fight to be good enough for you." Hyuck finally ends his speech with a happy sweet smile. And Mark is just so overwhelmed with the realization that Donghyuck is finally smiling again after two weeks, and God is it always this radiant? And it's not that Mark wants to wipe the smile off Hyuck's lips ever again, but he can't hold himself back from kissing those lips, tasting a subtle tinge of tears and the strawberry lipmask that Hyuck always wears before bed. Mark is just so very happy because, even in the kiss, Hyuck just can't stop smiling, not in a million years he'd ever imagined that he would love the other boy's blinding smile so much.

"That's a mess first kiss for me, hyung." Hyuck whispers while both giggling and panting softly after he pulls back and rests his forehead on Mark's, eyes still closed, and body pliant in the warm embrace of Mark's strong arms.

"Shut it." Mark joins in on the giggling contest, high and giddy after probably one of the worst and the best kiss that he had ever had. He kisses the top of Hyuck's head and let him curls on top of Mark's body, hands finding home on Hyuck's nape, petting the hair occassionally. "We have all the time in the world to learn and be better. I'll be here, always." Mark repeats his phrase because he needs Hyuck to understand that this is Mark's promise to him. Hyuck only hums softly as an acknowledgement. "Rest, Hyuck. We have a long day tomorrow." Before they know it, the fatigue of the day has pulled them both into a deep slumber, wrapped in each others' arms, not caring about a thing in the world as they finally have each other where they belong.

**Author's Note:**

> I love these babies so much
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @gay_n_shitty, come say hi and scream about NCT with me.


End file.
